august 26th

"Trust Me in the midst of a messy day.  Your inner calm--your Peace in My Presence--need not be shaken by what is going on around you.  Though you live in this temporal world, you innermost being is rooted and grounded in eternity.  When you start to feel stressed, detach yourself from the disturbances around you.  Instead of desperately striving to maintain order and control in you little world, relax and remember that circumstances cannot touch My Peace.

Seek My Face, and I will share My mind with you, opening your eyes to see things from My perspective.  Do not let your heart be troubled, and do not be afraid.  The Peace I give is sufficient for you."

--Today, from Jesus Calling, by Sarah Young

Lord, make Yourself strong in my weakness, my peace does not feel peaceful--give me Your peace Lord.  Part of my heart is missing, overwhelm it with Your love.  I feel empty, I feel weak, I feel lost, and yet I feel this weird strength, this weird hope--an erie strength beyond my tears and this weakened body.  Lord, why have You given me this so quickly, while my eyes still sting and tears still fall, while my heart still aches?  Lord, you are so merciful.  How undeserving of this love and comfort, I am.  You have given me a supernatural trust, my hope is firmly rooted in You, Lord, in the eternal.

Obedience is the answer.

Obedience is the answer.  I've been ignoring You.  I've been disregarding Your voice.  I've heard and not obeyed, thought I knew what was best.  I forfeit all of what I want to You Lord. I lay surrendered at Your feet, awaiting Your direction, Your divine guidance, Lord.  You have been merciful to me, when I don't deserve it.  You have blessed me beyond belief and now taken the thing I was holding on to, too tightly away in order to teach me a lesson.  My lesson, my call is to obedience.  It's simple, and You gave me ample opportunity to choose You, choose goodness, and righteousness, choose holiness, and yet I did not.  In my humanity and passions I chose 'my way', I chose what I wanted, verses what You want for me.

"How much more do you want to give good gifts to those who love you?"  What does it take?  It takes being forced to let go of the thing that you love, the idol that being put in a place that God should occupy.  Lord, what You have begun You will make complete, You will finish the race, the battle is won, and the the victory is Yours!  In the midst of this hurt, this sorrow, this sadness and pain, I know that You are here.  You are with me and in me and working all of these things out for my good and Your glory.

Stepping back, looking at the situation, I am thankful and grateful for the God of the universe, not allowing me to proceed in such a way.  I do not want my life to be lived in the weakness of sin, but in the power of God.  I am a sinner, it's inescapable, but I have the Savior of the World with me, and working inside of me, helping me, guiding me, growing me closer to Himself, and what He desires for me; so that my life might be honoring and glorifying to Him.  Lord, You continue to rescue me from my circumstances and myself, thank you for reminding me of who You are and how much I need You, and that You need to be at the center of my life.  Even if You are second in a line of a billion, I have not placed You in Your rightful position.  'Everything was made in You, breathe of every living thing, everything was made for You'--Lord I surrender this life to You, for whom it is purposed, may You continue to work and use my life for You and Your purposes and Your glory, even though it will be painful and confusing at times.  Ultimately I know You, I know who You are and what You want; please mold the desires of my heart to want what You want and heed Your word, may Your will be done.

new creation

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. Now all things are of God, who has reconciled us to Himself through Jesus Christ, and has given us the ministry of reconciliation, that is, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not imputing their trespasses to them, and has committed to us the word of reconciliation. Now then, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were pleading through us: we implore you on Christ’s behalf, be reconciled to God. For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him."  2 Cor. 5:17-21

His hands.

He's got the whole world in his hands.

Your strength

Lord, Father in heaven, creator, sustainer, and savior of the universe, thank you for today, this new day.  I come to your feet and submit my heart before you, my sin before you Lord.  Please prune my heart and conform me to your will Lord, make Your will, my own.  I long to be aligned to your will and in obedience to You.  Please strengthen me to pursue You and hold fast to what You have called me.  Lord, I hear your voice in my heart, I even hear You in my head, but my own thoughts and weakness and even evil spirits bring thoughts in my mind that tear me away from You.  Lord, I pray that You would banish them out of my mind, clear my mind to be filled solely with Your truth, love, Spirit, Your word, Lord.

Your love will not let me go.  I know this.  There is nothing that You have already planned that won't be accomplished and there is nothing that is too difficult that You will put before me.  I pray that you would give me the strength and courage to tackle these obstacles as they come--that You would be my strength and that all of my courage would come from You, Lord.

doctors

Today I went to get blood taken and the woman who was signing me in was asking me all of the typical questions, address, phone number, date of birth, etc... and then she asked me "what is your religious preference"...I was so caught off guard, at first because they made it sound like an airplane menu--"what is your meal preference", then I was curious if they were legally allowed to even ask that, followed shortly by the thought that 'I am Christian of course, I believe in the truth...duh.  While juggling these thoughts I lost track of what was actually coming out of my mouth, which turned out to be: "Jesus".  So, Jesus was my religious preference ha, ha, funny and interesting response in the moment and yet true.  I then proceeded to laugh at my self and corrected myself by saying Christian...., which was then followed by the thought that worried me the most...is there something I should be worried about? Are there some serious risks I should know about before getting my blood drawn?  Then the humor faded and the seriousness of the trillions of things that could be wrong with me began to flood my mind...I hope nothing is seriously wrong with me, I hope whatever it is, that it is treatable and manageable.  Lord, I place whatever this is, totally in your hands.

He is radical

Lord, You are faithful.  How beautiful and radical my life has been lately!  I knock and You answer, in some ways subtly and others wildly apparent!  Oh the joy that fills my soul!

I don't know whether it's just this time of year or maybe just this period in my life where you are becoming more and more obvious in my life.  The themes of these last few months have been wait, keep waiting, hope--hope in what is to come, hope in what is eternal, hope in the midst of your present circumstances, and in continual reminding that you are in me and you are with me and that you love me.  Seeing you work and move in my Aunt's heart on Easter was glorious!  It was a beautiful reminder of who are and what you are doing all around us all the time.  You are moving in your children and I pray that you would continue to help me see that in my life and circumstances and become more attune to you and how you are moving in me and the people I do life with.  Please move in me and help me to point to you with my life and encourage others toward your truth so that they might know you.

to be great

I've previously address this longing to do great things, big things with my life, sometimes justifying this desire with wanting to do them for God and His kingdom, with a completely sincere heart, yet still a longing to do big things, important things.  Longing for a purpose and a drive that would be obvious and tangible.  


But today, this notion of doing small things for God's kingdom really struck me.  I may not be the next big ambassador for God in a large, tangible, presidential way, but that may not be what God is calling me to. God simply calls me to love him, obey Him, trust Him, serve Him, and all do all of these things for my "neighbor".  I've had to humble myself to this idea of living my life in a real way with God, dependent on His strength and leaning into his love, mercy, and grace on a daily basis.  This doesn't mean that God won't use me to do good things for His purposes, just that I will be doing His will, verses my own.