Obedience is the answer.

Obedience is the answer.  I've been ignoring You.  I've been disregarding Your voice.  I've heard and not obeyed, thought I knew what was best.  I forfeit all of what I want to You Lord. I lay surrendered at Your feet, awaiting Your direction, Your divine guidance, Lord.  You have been merciful to me, when I don't deserve it.  You have blessed me beyond belief and now taken the thing I was holding on to, too tightly away in order to teach me a lesson.  My lesson, my call is to obedience.  It's simple, and You gave me ample opportunity to choose You, choose goodness, and righteousness, choose holiness, and yet I did not.  In my humanity and passions I chose 'my way', I chose what I wanted, verses what You want for me.

"How much more do you want to give good gifts to those who love you?"  What does it take?  It takes being forced to let go of the thing that you love, the idol that being put in a place that God should occupy.  Lord, what You have begun You will make complete, You will finish the race, the battle is won, and the the victory is Yours!  In the midst of this hurt, this sorrow, this sadness and pain, I know that You are here.  You are with me and in me and working all of these things out for my good and Your glory.

Stepping back, looking at the situation, I am thankful and grateful for the God of the universe, not allowing me to proceed in such a way.  I do not want my life to be lived in the weakness of sin, but in the power of God.  I am a sinner, it's inescapable, but I have the Savior of the World with me, and working inside of me, helping me, guiding me, growing me closer to Himself, and what He desires for me; so that my life might be honoring and glorifying to Him.  Lord, You continue to rescue me from my circumstances and myself, thank you for reminding me of who You are and how much I need You, and that You need to be at the center of my life.  Even if You are second in a line of a billion, I have not placed You in Your rightful position.  'Everything was made in You, breathe of every living thing, everything was made for You'--Lord I surrender this life to You, for whom it is purposed, may You continue to work and use my life for You and Your purposes and Your glory, even though it will be painful and confusing at times.  Ultimately I know You, I know who You are and what You want; please mold the desires of my heart to want what You want and heed Your word, may Your will be done.