Your strength

Lord, Father in heaven, creator, sustainer, and savior of the universe, thank you for today, this new day.  I come to your feet and submit my heart before you, my sin before you Lord.  Please prune my heart and conform me to your will Lord, make Your will, my own.  I long to be aligned to your will and in obedience to You.  Please strengthen me to pursue You and hold fast to what You have called me.  Lord, I hear your voice in my heart, I even hear You in my head, but my own thoughts and weakness and even evil spirits bring thoughts in my mind that tear me away from You.  Lord, I pray that You would banish them out of my mind, clear my mind to be filled solely with Your truth, love, Spirit, Your word, Lord.

Your love will not let me go.  I know this.  There is nothing that You have already planned that won't be accomplished and there is nothing that is too difficult that You will put before me.  I pray that you would give me the strength and courage to tackle these obstacles as they come--that You would be my strength and that all of my courage would come from You, Lord.

doctors

Today I went to get blood taken and the woman who was signing me in was asking me all of the typical questions, address, phone number, date of birth, etc... and then she asked me "what is your religious preference"...I was so caught off guard, at first because they made it sound like an airplane menu--"what is your meal preference", then I was curious if they were legally allowed to even ask that, followed shortly by the thought that 'I am Christian of course, I believe in the truth...duh.  While juggling these thoughts I lost track of what was actually coming out of my mouth, which turned out to be: "Jesus".  So, Jesus was my religious preference ha, ha, funny and interesting response in the moment and yet true.  I then proceeded to laugh at my self and corrected myself by saying Christian...., which was then followed by the thought that worried me the most...is there something I should be worried about? Are there some serious risks I should know about before getting my blood drawn?  Then the humor faded and the seriousness of the trillions of things that could be wrong with me began to flood my mind...I hope nothing is seriously wrong with me, I hope whatever it is, that it is treatable and manageable.  Lord, I place whatever this is, totally in your hands.

He is radical

Lord, You are faithful.  How beautiful and radical my life has been lately!  I knock and You answer, in some ways subtly and others wildly apparent!  Oh the joy that fills my soul!

I don't know whether it's just this time of year or maybe just this period in my life where you are becoming more and more obvious in my life.  The themes of these last few months have been wait, keep waiting, hope--hope in what is to come, hope in what is eternal, hope in the midst of your present circumstances, and in continual reminding that you are in me and you are with me and that you love me.  Seeing you work and move in my Aunt's heart on Easter was glorious!  It was a beautiful reminder of who are and what you are doing all around us all the time.  You are moving in your children and I pray that you would continue to help me see that in my life and circumstances and become more attune to you and how you are moving in me and the people I do life with.  Please move in me and help me to point to you with my life and encourage others toward your truth so that they might know you.

to be great

I've previously address this longing to do great things, big things with my life, sometimes justifying this desire with wanting to do them for God and His kingdom, with a completely sincere heart, yet still a longing to do big things, important things.  Longing for a purpose and a drive that would be obvious and tangible.  


But today, this notion of doing small things for God's kingdom really struck me.  I may not be the next big ambassador for God in a large, tangible, presidential way, but that may not be what God is calling me to. God simply calls me to love him, obey Him, trust Him, serve Him, and all do all of these things for my "neighbor".  I've had to humble myself to this idea of living my life in a real way with God, dependent on His strength and leaning into his love, mercy, and grace on a daily basis.  This doesn't mean that God won't use me to do good things for His purposes, just that I will be doing His will, verses my own.


   

ma'am...

I've decided I need to start using my eye cream again, and get more of the anti-wrinkle cream I recently ran out of.  I've felt pretty young and healthy lately, and yet this weekend I was called "ma'am" twice.  "Ma'am", really?  "Yes, sir....?"

I thought I felt a bit older at 25, but it's definitely 26--this is old.  I can diffinitively say that I feel old, after being called ma'am....twice.

alternative lifestyle

My goal for 2011 was to be healthier in all aspects of my life, in order to be more loving to the people around me.  So far I've gotten into a pretty good routine talking to God every morning, I've struggled with saying yes to too many social events, but we're working on it, and the final piece to my healthier lifestyle is eating better....

I fall into the category of people who eats "pretty well" and "everything in relative moderation", and I've never put myself on a "diet"; but as of late I've looked into different fad diets and read articles about different types of food and the effect they have on the body, which has really raised more questions than disclosed answers.

Eating Real Food, no carb. Diet, day 4---last night was difficult when the bread basket came to the table, but it was a small victory!

complex yet simple

Life is so complex and yet so simple. I wish I could get rid of expectations, my own and others and the cultural ones impressed upon us. God, you've come to rid us of fear and doubt and yet we still do. We doubt your very existence, which is ridiculous if you consider the very nature of our world and our universe the intricate complexities that make up an atom, a single-celled organism, a plant, an animal, a human, a thought, a soul. We are designed to know you and be in relationship with our maker, to know you and know the truth about the creator of the universe, the truth about your love for us and your grace for us. If you are love and do things from this quality that you are, then we should live in light of your love for us and not in doubt. Sin is in this world, but ultimately your plan will prevail. Bad things happen because there is sin in this world and our earth is deteriorating. Why does God allow these bad things to happen? To allow good things to happen--I really think it's that simple. To point people to Him and to love one another. If no one felt pain, how could they appreciate joy. If no one went through anything difficult, how would you know what it was to experience good things. How much more do you respect the people who have been through hell and back than those who have never experienced, deep pain, deep longing, deep desperation, deep depression, deep need, difficult trials, too many trials, too much to bare. The ones who have born these things and have come out the other side know the glory of God, the grace, the peace, and the joy. For tribulations produces perserverence; and perserverence, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not dissapoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us. Rom. 5:3-5

Raymond's Fortune Cookie Advice

The piece of advice I received from my 80 something year old neighbor, Raymond last night.  I feel like this should be on a fortune cookie.