process

God has been taking me through a huge growing process in the last seven or eight months.  It's as though He just flipped a switch in me and changed my heart again, made a little space in there that He was going to move into in a big way.  I'm sharing this to share my excitement and a little apprehension for what I know is coming.  I have been experiencing the freedom He wants me to have in His Son.  The longings and yearning of my heart have been changing and I won't say that it's been easy, but the Lord has been there every step of the way, revealing Himself and His steadfast love for me through everything.

Garden Update: week 2

So this last weekend, I got motivated to rip out some more weeds--this was no easy task...after 2 hours bent over pulling out weeds, my back and knees were hating me. But I did clear almost a 2' by 2' foot area (there were a lot of weeds okay).  Much more weeding to come...and garden re-shaping.  See pictures below...

Also, garden questions:

1. Are "rolly pollies" (pill bugs) good for a garden, because there are a ton of these in mine.

2. In picture number 3 below you might notice a grasshopper taunting me by sitting on my tomato plant--how can I get him to leave?!

3. Carrie, I will totally need your expertise with getting rid of bugs (ants, spiders, pincher bugs) there are a lot of these in the dirt.  I did come across 1, yes only 1, worm--they are good right?!  Also, I have bees--bees are good. 

1. Yard, before picture.

2. Weed clearing--doesn't look very impressive. (Also, please note the plastic 

pot I threw at the grasshopper that flew onto my tomato plant--I will win!).

3. Grasshopper.

growth

What I am growing....pic. 1 is my baby tomato plant, pic. 2 are my potted seeds (WOW), pic. 3 is my bell pepper plant--I wonder what color it will be?  I hope it is yellow!

Garden Theology

The other day, while attempting to rip out weeds in our garden I began cutting back our enormous over-grown tomato plant, and the concept of the vine and the branches became clearer in such a tangible way.  I was cutting off the dead branches and the ones that looked scrawny so that the stronger branches could continue to grow and bear fruit.  It was almost a little funny how sensitive I was toward this tomato plant; plucking it’s little branches and cutting off the dead branches, and ripping a good portion of the plant out completely so that it could grow new, and into a healthier plant that might actually bear fruit.  I actually apologized to the plant out loud about what I was doing and told it that it will actually end up being so much better for it—I feel like this is what God is saying to me right now.  He is taking the bad parts out and cutting things off, and it might hurt for a short time, but it will be better in the long run.  Ultimately I just want to be a healthy plant that bears good fruit, even if it feels like the gardener is ripping parts out from me right now; He knows what He is doing. 

The analogy continues…  So far in this analogy we have, God the Gardener and me/us the over-grown non-producing tomato plant, who are we missing?  That’s right, the grasshopper.  The stubborn, hungry, selfish grasshopper/Satan.  Let me set this up for you:  There I am trimming back this plant, tugging, ripping, etc. and then out of the corner of my eye I see this dead, brown branch,…nope, it’s a grasshopper having his lunch.  I tried to shoo it away by shaking the plant some more, he didn’t budge.  I tried throwing empty plastic pots at it, I don’t even think I interrupted his chewing.  Three pots, and not even a taunting glance, argh!  I couldn’t kill it, nor would I know how for fear of it flying in my face, so I just let it be.  But Satan was totally embodied in that stubborn grasshopper, eating and gnawing away at you/me/the tomato plant, slowly eating away at the plant and is even more glued to and ready to pounce when the plant begins to bear fruit.  I hate grasshoppers.  And satan.

I can't buy it, so I'll have to build it

So I went to The Home Depot (just realized this when reading the sign, this whole time I’ve just been calling it Home Depot, but I kind of like it with the “The”—even more intimidating) and was looking around for a raised planter box for my herb/vegetable garden that I want to grow.  I’ve slowly been lured back into growing my own food.  I love the idea of growing and eating my own food and knowing exactly where it is coming from—besides the obvious benefit of saving money on groceries. 

A few weeks ago my roommate and I planted tomato and bell pepper seeds and have been watching them grow in there little pots—life is so neat, this is what being a parent must be like, ha ha ha, just kidding. 

Then I saw Food, Inc., and it reminded me of all the eating and buying changes I made 6 years ago after reading The Omnivore’s Dilemma, and since then have forgotten.  It just really makes you stop and think about what you are putting in your body and what you want and should be putting in there.  Ehh!—just thinking about how some of the animals were being treated in that film, which was followed by the thought of never eating a hamburger ever again. 

Back to my garden…I say that I live on a “farm”, so I thought, why not actually grow things—that’s what they do on farms.  So (drum roll please) I’m going to plant a herb/vegetable garden!  Yea!  My lovely friend Carrie Dunn (here is your shout out!) has graciously given me seeds to plant to start my garden along with some tips and tricks she has been learning—she is totally her mother’s daughter. 

So, this planter box I must build…I think I will need help with (wink, wink, Simon or any other obliged gentleman reading this blog).  I’m going to do some research online, but its got to be pretty simple: wood, nails, hammer, man to help build it.  P.S. Simon, if you didn’t know this yet, Carrie offered your services to rototil my yard for a payment in beer and dinner, but I think I might just need your help to build this planter box. 

Reasoning for the planter box: 

1.              There are tons of bugs in our yard—is that normal—I hate bugs!  An abnormal amount of bugs.

2.              There are ka-zillions of ants, who when disturbed or find out that someone is trying to poison them crawl into my room somehow.  Therefore, I’d love to keep the ants happy and undisturbed and out of my room.

3.              Our dirt is very hard and very dry.

4.              I’d like to keep these bugs out of my vegetable home as best I can.

5.              I’d like to keep our crazy weeds out of my growing space as well.

a broken heart

Only God can change people's hearts, only He can give them truth and clarity, only He can transform them. Dear Lord, I pray that truth reign in the people's lives around me. I pray that you would reveal Yourself to those who are blind and beaten up by the world and its sin and reveal to them their own sin and desperate need for your love. I pray that You would continue to humble me to Yourself and continue to look to You for every strength. I pray that You would mold my heart and create my motives and shape my actions and that I would glorify, honor and point to You with my life. I pray that Your glory would overshadow my deeds. Your will be done.

an ever-changing heart

Thank you for the glory of your morning, for the dawn of a new day; a day to enjoy the blessings you have placed in my life and the excitement that uncertainty brings, yet with the faith that you have given to me with the strength of Your Spirit You have placed inside of me. My Father in heaven may You guide my thoughts and my actions and the way I live my life. I pray for Your Spirit to not only dwell, but live in me for Your honor and Your glory--I pray that You would continue to grow this surrendering of myself to You. The freedom that I know You have blessed me with lately has been so encouraging and exciting and true. I love being more honest with myself and not letting the eyes of the world affect how I love You. By Your grace and strength You have opened this little heart up to experiencing Your love in a more abundant and true way which has created a freedom to share Your love with others more openly--unashamed and unabashed. Your abiding and abounding love for me, yes little me--whom You've created and formed before the dawn of time and placed Your Holy Spirit in, is allowing me to live more honestly in Your presence. I pray that You would continue to draw me in closer to You, Lord and draw me out for Your glory so that Your name be praised and glorified and people would come to know You. I pray that the creation of my life would fulfill Your purposes and that I would allow You to reign in my heart and that my life would be an expression and exhalation of Your love and work in my life. Dear Lord, I pray that I might live in undivided devotion to You and that Your honor & glory will be manifested in my life for the purposes of Your will. I pray that the purpose of my life would be for Your glory and that you would be the source of my strength and freedom and that Your love for me and my love for You would proclaim Your truth and bless others.

Philippians 2:13
It is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.

Psalm 32:8
I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you.

1 Cor. 10:13

...God is faithful and he will not let you be tempted beyond your strength, but with the temptation will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

Luke 11:9-10
"So I say to you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.

Proverbs 3:5
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.

1 Chronicles 16:11
Seek the LORD and His strength; seek His face continually.

Psalm 37:4 & 7
Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass ... Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him.

Psalm 27:1
The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?

Isaiah 41:10
Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

1 Peter 4:11
If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.

for tomorrow

A song for today, a song for tomorrow.

Your love is Stong - Jon Foreman