scars

You fill the space of all that the world has left empty.  The expectations and promises of the world left me unfulfilled.  I trusted those who were weak, who knew not what they were saying or thinking.  It is good to trust people, to have hope in people, but not too many times.  Too much faith or trust in people has made me out to be a fool.

There is a deep purple scar on my heart, thick with scar tissue that only You can knead, You can heal, only You can relieve the pain.  I opened myself up to love again, and again, and again

remember, I Am who I Am

May I feel the fullness of your love and grace in the hole that's in my heart.  This crater that you have let form, may you fill it with your overwhelming love and hope and peace and patience, Lord.  You, the God that can create and move mountains, can change hearts and give hope, in places left empty by the world.  

May I not take your grace lightly, may I sit before your feet and begin to grasp the gravity of your grace, the costliness of which You have paid for my sin; and respond with a life that acknowledges this profound gift, without ever taking it lightly or for granted.  

Your gifts are overwhelming and you lavish them upon me, Lord.  May my heart stay humble and thankful before you, even in the midst of things being taken from me or removed from my life--for You know what will be a blessing and honor to Your name and Your kingdom.  When I question and begin to doubt Your purposes in my life, may You remind me that You are sovereign, that You love me, and that You are working all things out for my good and Your glory, Lord.  

Remember.  That's what I hear You saying to me.  Remember, where I have taken You from, remember what I have saved You from, remember who I have called you to be, remember how I responded to you when you have cried out to me, remember what I have taught You, remember my words and my works in your life, Lauren.  Remember who I am.  Look around you, do you see this beautiful world I have created, look into the eyes of the people I have placed in your life, listen for My still small voice in our time together.  You are my daughter, whom I've known before you were born, I love you and I will not let you go, I am with you and living inside of you, I will not leave you or forsake you, you are beautiful in my eyes and I will see My work in you through the end of this life--till we meet face to face.