complex yet simple

Life is so complex and yet so simple. I wish I could get rid of expectations, my own and others and the cultural ones impressed upon us. God, you've come to rid us of fear and doubt and yet we still do. We doubt your very existence, which is ridiculous if you consider the very nature of our world and our universe the intricate complexities that make up an atom, a single-celled organism, a plant, an animal, a human, a thought, a soul. We are designed to know you and be in relationship with our maker, to know you and know the truth about the creator of the universe, the truth about your love for us and your grace for us. If you are love and do things from this quality that you are, then we should live in light of your love for us and not in doubt. Sin is in this world, but ultimately your plan will prevail. Bad things happen because there is sin in this world and our earth is deteriorating. Why does God allow these bad things to happen? To allow good things to happen--I really think it's that simple. To point people to Him and to love one another. If no one felt pain, how could they appreciate joy. If no one went through anything difficult, how would you know what it was to experience good things. How much more do you respect the people who have been through hell and back than those who have never experienced, deep pain, deep longing, deep desperation, deep depression, deep need, difficult trials, too many trials, too much to bare. The ones who have born these things and have come out the other side know the glory of God, the grace, the peace, and the joy. For tribulations produces perserverence; and perserverence, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not dissapoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us. Rom. 5:3-5

Raymond's Fortune Cookie Advice

The piece of advice I received from my 80 something year old neighbor, Raymond last night.  I feel like this should be on a fortune cookie.

walls

I've been trying to build up walls around this precious thing in my life, to protect and keep it; the more I try to keep it, the more it pulls away.  Today I give this over to you, God.  I'm letting go, I surrender it all to You, Your will be done.  I pray that my focus would turn back to You and off of myself and off of this thing.  I pray your will be done.

today

From my devotional today....


With skillful hands he led them. Ps. 78:72


"When you are unsure which course to take, totally submit your own judgment to that of the Spirit of God, asking Him to shut every door except the right one. But meanwhile keep moving ahead and consider the absence of a direct indication from God to be the evidence of His will that you are on His path.  And as you continue down the long road, you will find that He has gone before you, locking doors you otherwise would have been inclined to enter.  Yet you can be sure that somewhere beyond the locked doors is one He has left unlocked.  And when you open it and walk through, you will find yourself face to face with a turn in the river of opportunity--one that is broader and deeper than anything you ever dared to imagine, even in your wildest dreams.  So set sail on it, because it flows to the open sea.


God often guides us through our circumstances.  One moment, our way may seem totally blocked, but then suddenly some seemingly trivial incident occurs, appearing as nothing to others but speaking volumes to the keen eye of faith.  And sometimes these events are repeated in various ways in response to our prayers.  They certainly are not haphazard results of chance but are God opening up the way we should walk, by directing our circumstances.  And they begin to multiply as we advance toward our goal, just as the lights of a city seem to increase as we speed toward it while traveling at night."  
--F.B. Meyer, from Streams in the Desert by L.B. Cowman 


Father, I need Your wisdom and your strength, please guide me in the direction of obedience and Your will, please give me discernment with the days ahead and lead me.  May my life reflect Your truth and Your glory.

I love visiting Gary & Elaine

Ever since I met Gary and Elaine I haven't stopped laughing...I know you will enjoy them as much as I do...Gary & Elaine from Catalog Living.

good day L.A.

Recently Sky and decided to go on an adventure to L.A.  This adventure has begun a new work in our hearts.  We found an amazing church to attend and spend the rest of the day talking and eating and wandering--it feels so European.  Here are some photos from our day.

smiley.

silly.

a heart from the cute boys at intelligentsia, ty.

rad logo.

Sky, street.

thoughts on a run.....

1. oh dear....is that a shin splint?  shoot...I guess it's been a while, but seriously?! f.
2. oh good for them...kettle bells...hmmm I wonder what those actually work, I feel like if you used them wrong you could throw your back out.....
3.  oh yeah! down hill...
4.  smiled a "hi" at older woman
5. doot-da-doot-da-do....ahhh!/eww! (bug in eye-ball)
6. just remembered why I wear sun-glasses when I run...what a stupid bug...
7. okay, stretching time...that's a lot of ants...I wonder if those ants are getting drunk from that broken beer bottle?...I wonder what ants do when they are drunk...I wonder what would be worse: sober ants or drunk ants?
8. yes, 4 mile run it is ....
9. (looking over Jamboree bridge) I wish I had someone with me to share this with--so fricking beautiful! Wow, I live here?! 
10. hey, that girl looks like Kathleen's sister...what was her name?...what was her name?--I should know her name....I can see her face...I totally forgot.
11. yes!  this feels okay--way to catch up legs!
12. ugh, a hill...I hate hills....you can do it...little bit further....if she can do it, you can totally do it....yea! made it, home stretch.

Look how her garden grows!

It's been a while my friends, but while I've been busy at work my little garden has been flourishing.  Due to my garden consultant, Carrie Dunn, it has been properly pruned and maintained.  I have been able to harvest radishes, strawberries, basil, and soon lettuce and string beans! Below you will see some highlights from this week.

In order to grow in my gardening skills I began attending edible gardening classes at Roger's Garden and have been learning all sorts of interesting things...ie. there are no organic pesticides to kill grasshoppers...great...and that I will have to "breed"/"mate" my corn crop (good thing I have two!--don't want to have incestuous corn).

  

string beans

corn

lettuce

     radish about to be picked

                                                  

harvested radish

tomatoes--waiting patiently for them to turn yellow

(yellow pear tomatoes)

I'm currently taking suggestions and requests for fall and winter growth.

Weeks later....

Okay kids, it's been a while, but well worth the wait.  After some some serious encouragement by my gardening mentor, we set out to make and plant the raised garden bed.  Much to Simon's surprise we did successfully build the raised garden box by ourselves (please see picture No.1, followed by picture No.2).  


After some sweat, a lot of hard dirt, bugs and battling the monstrosity that is the lavender bush, we managed  to plant a beautiful little garden.  We did purchase two strawberry plants, a basil plant, rosemary, and a sweat pea plant that impersonated a cantaloupe plant (ahem, I didn't realize that some plants are liars...or maybe he is like the duck that thought he was a chicken in the movie "Babe"....the sweat pea plant that wanted to be a cantaloupe plant....I digress.  Anyways, everything you see and will continue to see sprouting is grown from seed.  Also, on either side of my raised box are tomato plants along with corn growing along the fence.


I truly could not have done this without my dear gardening expert and extraordinaire, Carrie Dunn.  I promised you my first cantaloupe, but seeing as it is a sweat pea--you get those, not as exciting I know...I owe you!  Thank you soooooooooooo much! 


I am so excited to see these little guys grow!

Photo No. 1: Birthday gift from the Dunns!!!

Photo No. 2: Before

Photo No. 3: After

Photo No. 4: Aerial view of garden bed

Photo No. 5: Carrie Dunn, Garden Extraordinaire

Photo No. 6: dirt encrusted hands

Seeds Planted (5.23.10):

carrots

radishes

romaine lettuce

baby lettuce

peas

onions

quote of the day

process

God has been taking me through a huge growing process in the last seven or eight months.  It's as though He just flipped a switch in me and changed my heart again, made a little space in there that He was going to move into in a big way.  I'm sharing this to share my excitement and a little apprehension for what I know is coming.  I have been experiencing the freedom He wants me to have in His Son.  The longings and yearning of my heart have been changing and I won't say that it's been easy, but the Lord has been there every step of the way, revealing Himself and His steadfast love for me through everything.

Garden Update: week 2

So this last weekend, I got motivated to rip out some more weeds--this was no easy task...after 2 hours bent over pulling out weeds, my back and knees were hating me. But I did clear almost a 2' by 2' foot area (there were a lot of weeds okay).  Much more weeding to come...and garden re-shaping.  See pictures below...

Also, garden questions:

1. Are "rolly pollies" (pill bugs) good for a garden, because there are a ton of these in mine.

2. In picture number 3 below you might notice a grasshopper taunting me by sitting on my tomato plant--how can I get him to leave?!

3. Carrie, I will totally need your expertise with getting rid of bugs (ants, spiders, pincher bugs) there are a lot of these in the dirt.  I did come across 1, yes only 1, worm--they are good right?!  Also, I have bees--bees are good. 

1. Yard, before picture.

2. Weed clearing--doesn't look very impressive. (Also, please note the plastic 

pot I threw at the grasshopper that flew onto my tomato plant--I will win!).

3. Grasshopper.

growth

What I am growing....pic. 1 is my baby tomato plant, pic. 2 are my potted seeds (WOW), pic. 3 is my bell pepper plant--I wonder what color it will be?  I hope it is yellow!

Garden Theology

The other day, while attempting to rip out weeds in our garden I began cutting back our enormous over-grown tomato plant, and the concept of the vine and the branches became clearer in such a tangible way.  I was cutting off the dead branches and the ones that looked scrawny so that the stronger branches could continue to grow and bear fruit.  It was almost a little funny how sensitive I was toward this tomato plant; plucking it’s little branches and cutting off the dead branches, and ripping a good portion of the plant out completely so that it could grow new, and into a healthier plant that might actually bear fruit.  I actually apologized to the plant out loud about what I was doing and told it that it will actually end up being so much better for it—I feel like this is what God is saying to me right now.  He is taking the bad parts out and cutting things off, and it might hurt for a short time, but it will be better in the long run.  Ultimately I just want to be a healthy plant that bears good fruit, even if it feels like the gardener is ripping parts out from me right now; He knows what He is doing. 

The analogy continues…  So far in this analogy we have, God the Gardener and me/us the over-grown non-producing tomato plant, who are we missing?  That’s right, the grasshopper.  The stubborn, hungry, selfish grasshopper/Satan.  Let me set this up for you:  There I am trimming back this plant, tugging, ripping, etc. and then out of the corner of my eye I see this dead, brown branch,…nope, it’s a grasshopper having his lunch.  I tried to shoo it away by shaking the plant some more, he didn’t budge.  I tried throwing empty plastic pots at it, I don’t even think I interrupted his chewing.  Three pots, and not even a taunting glance, argh!  I couldn’t kill it, nor would I know how for fear of it flying in my face, so I just let it be.  But Satan was totally embodied in that stubborn grasshopper, eating and gnawing away at you/me/the tomato plant, slowly eating away at the plant and is even more glued to and ready to pounce when the plant begins to bear fruit.  I hate grasshoppers.  And satan.

I can't buy it, so I'll have to build it

So I went to The Home Depot (just realized this when reading the sign, this whole time I’ve just been calling it Home Depot, but I kind of like it with the “The”—even more intimidating) and was looking around for a raised planter box for my herb/vegetable garden that I want to grow.  I’ve slowly been lured back into growing my own food.  I love the idea of growing and eating my own food and knowing exactly where it is coming from—besides the obvious benefit of saving money on groceries. 

A few weeks ago my roommate and I planted tomato and bell pepper seeds and have been watching them grow in there little pots—life is so neat, this is what being a parent must be like, ha ha ha, just kidding. 

Then I saw Food, Inc., and it reminded me of all the eating and buying changes I made 6 years ago after reading The Omnivore’s Dilemma, and since then have forgotten.  It just really makes you stop and think about what you are putting in your body and what you want and should be putting in there.  Ehh!—just thinking about how some of the animals were being treated in that film, which was followed by the thought of never eating a hamburger ever again. 

Back to my garden…I say that I live on a “farm”, so I thought, why not actually grow things—that’s what they do on farms.  So (drum roll please) I’m going to plant a herb/vegetable garden!  Yea!  My lovely friend Carrie Dunn (here is your shout out!) has graciously given me seeds to plant to start my garden along with some tips and tricks she has been learning—she is totally her mother’s daughter. 

So, this planter box I must build…I think I will need help with (wink, wink, Simon or any other obliged gentleman reading this blog).  I’m going to do some research online, but its got to be pretty simple: wood, nails, hammer, man to help build it.  P.S. Simon, if you didn’t know this yet, Carrie offered your services to rototil my yard for a payment in beer and dinner, but I think I might just need your help to build this planter box. 

Reasoning for the planter box: 

1.              There are tons of bugs in our yard—is that normal—I hate bugs!  An abnormal amount of bugs.

2.              There are ka-zillions of ants, who when disturbed or find out that someone is trying to poison them crawl into my room somehow.  Therefore, I’d love to keep the ants happy and undisturbed and out of my room.

3.              Our dirt is very hard and very dry.

4.              I’d like to keep these bugs out of my vegetable home as best I can.

5.              I’d like to keep our crazy weeds out of my growing space as well.

a broken heart

Only God can change people's hearts, only He can give them truth and clarity, only He can transform them. Dear Lord, I pray that truth reign in the people's lives around me. I pray that you would reveal Yourself to those who are blind and beaten up by the world and its sin and reveal to them their own sin and desperate need for your love. I pray that You would continue to humble me to Yourself and continue to look to You for every strength. I pray that You would mold my heart and create my motives and shape my actions and that I would glorify, honor and point to You with my life. I pray that Your glory would overshadow my deeds. Your will be done.

an ever-changing heart

Thank you for the glory of your morning, for the dawn of a new day; a day to enjoy the blessings you have placed in my life and the excitement that uncertainty brings, yet with the faith that you have given to me with the strength of Your Spirit You have placed inside of me. My Father in heaven may You guide my thoughts and my actions and the way I live my life. I pray for Your Spirit to not only dwell, but live in me for Your honor and Your glory--I pray that You would continue to grow this surrendering of myself to You. The freedom that I know You have blessed me with lately has been so encouraging and exciting and true. I love being more honest with myself and not letting the eyes of the world affect how I love You. By Your grace and strength You have opened this little heart up to experiencing Your love in a more abundant and true way which has created a freedom to share Your love with others more openly--unashamed and unabashed. Your abiding and abounding love for me, yes little me--whom You've created and formed before the dawn of time and placed Your Holy Spirit in, is allowing me to live more honestly in Your presence. I pray that You would continue to draw me in closer to You, Lord and draw me out for Your glory so that Your name be praised and glorified and people would come to know You. I pray that the creation of my life would fulfill Your purposes and that I would allow You to reign in my heart and that my life would be an expression and exhalation of Your love and work in my life. Dear Lord, I pray that I might live in undivided devotion to You and that Your honor & glory will be manifested in my life for the purposes of Your will. I pray that the purpose of my life would be for Your glory and that you would be the source of my strength and freedom and that Your love for me and my love for You would proclaim Your truth and bless others.

Philippians 2:13
It is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.

Psalm 32:8
I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you.

1 Cor. 10:13

...God is faithful and he will not let you be tempted beyond your strength, but with the temptation will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

Luke 11:9-10
"So I say to you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.

Proverbs 3:5
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.

1 Chronicles 16:11
Seek the LORD and His strength; seek His face continually.

Psalm 37:4 & 7
Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass ... Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him.

Psalm 27:1
The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?

Isaiah 41:10
Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

1 Peter 4:11
If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.

for tomorrow

A song for today, a song for tomorrow.

Your love is Stong - Jon Foreman